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Kill! Kill! Kill!
20 most recent entries

Date:2016-09-29 22:50
Subject:
Security:Public

Fall came and I'm instantly dying.

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Date:2016-09-08 00:40
Subject:
Security:Public

I finally after eight years snuck into the yard it was only held shut by a bungee before it was locked but no one lives there except ghost pigeons and spiders. There are a few things left inside, a couch some peeling paint, one or two lamps and out side there is a television set with a readers digest medical journal on top unopened but I opened it and I know it was ordered by the dying man to try and stave off dying but he failed.

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Date:2012-03-14 00:57
Subject:
Security:Public

who?

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Date:2011-10-29 17:50
Subject:
Security:Public

hello world. it's halloween weekend. i'm going to be a beautiful ballerina. the end.

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Date:2011-07-20 14:38
Subject:
Security:Public

i wish i knew how to stop torturing myself. or telling anyone anything ever.

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Date:2011-07-19 00:24
Subject:
Security:Public

i might as well just be a cardboard box.

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Date:2010-11-16 14:54
Subject:
Security:Public

rats.
we are all rats.
maybe that's what happens with the absence of love.

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Date:2010-08-01 23:56
Subject:Truth.
Security:Public

blind fish
will ravage you
in the lost lake cave
when the earthquake hits
and you move to tennessee

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Date:2010-07-05 10:44
Subject:Ow.
Security:Public

i gotten beaten to a pulp by a sailboat yesterday. i feel like an old lady. there are birds here, many. i should swim now. the end.

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Date:2010-06-18 00:22
Subject:Ballbuster.
Security:Public

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. yeah well.

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Date:2010-05-25 11:10
Subject:Thunder Lake.
Security:Public

78 hours til i get in my car and drive the heck away from this awful burned down dirty love-barren pile of ass. i can't wait. it's going to be sunny and warm and quiet and green and i shall read books and lay in the sun and drink lemonade and listen to the birds and float around on the giant black tractor tire tube if it still has air in it. and eat cheeseburgers with grilled onions. and be happy and clean and free.

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Date:2010-05-20 14:19
Subject:Three Falls.
Security:Public

can't stop thinking of the smell of the warm, dry, northwoods sun hitting the sandy dirt and pale green needles crunching underfoot. dark blue sky. quiet wind in the pines. squeak of the iron water well in the field at the top of three falls. grasshoppers. heat vibrations off the asphalt parking lot. quiet rush of the waterfalls below. heaven. it's pulling me so strong now that the weather is warming. my blood is flowing north.

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Date:2010-05-15 14:47
Subject:Square One.
Security:Public

working alone all day on a saturday really !@#$s with my emotions. stupid feelings. i wish i was a dude so i didn't have them.

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Date:2010-05-09 20:38
Subject:So.
Security:Public

ok now i'm sad. i can't have him, obviously. but i can't bear not having him. all i can do is weep. i'm never dating again. never. highs aren't worth the lows.

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Date:2010-04-12 10:00
Subject:Out of the Well.
Security:Public

things are happening. so many things. happy things. tropical things. i can't write them down. this week is a giant mystery.

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Date:2010-03-21 16:21
Subject:Need.
Security:Public

...................come on.

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Date:2010-02-06 18:22
Subject:It Was Bright Blue.
Security:Public

we walked around the perimeter of the frozen lake today, detouring to look at tip up flags where holes had been drilled for ice fishing. the ice is thick now, about 20 inches. when we got to the rocks i walked to the shore and smoothed the snow away against the rock so i could see where the ice met tight with the land. it was clear there, so you could almost see down into the depths, almost. near the shore in most places it is melted a few feet out because of the springs everywhere, but against the rocks it's solid tight because it's deep there. in the inlet there were about three cars parked on the ice with trailers and tents and augers and kahlua and bud ice. we watched a man auger a hole in the ice, it went down and down, it seemed so far and at the end when it broke through a gush of water shot up like a geyser and piled the crushed ice around the hole in a little volcano shaped mound. i went over to the hole and scooped the rest of the ice out and felt the insides of the ice wall and peered down into the deep green water. it didn't feel as cold as i imagined and i wanted to plunge my face into it but i didn't. maybe i will tomorrow. it felt like nectar of heaven, having the water of thunder lake on my hands again. i can't wait until i can be in it all the way again, under the surface totally. silent, happy. it's dark now and the convoy of ice fisherman just drove across the highway they plowed in the middle of the lake back to shore. strange to see car and truck headlights driving in the middle of the lake. when trucks would pass us today out on the walk, the ice cracked loudly and bumped and groaned. even though it's way too thick to break, and impossible to fall in, it was still scary, i just stopped where i was and put my arms out and braced my legs, as if that would help. after it passed i traced an old refrozen over centimeter thick crack with my finger. this place is so important to me i can never ever explain it.

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Date:2010-01-27 10:12
Subject:Dream.
Security:Public

last night i had a dream that i was in the middle of a violently wavy ocean on a broken off wing of a small airplane with a strange woman and her baby. i had a book of tear off poison sheets that someone made me eat, then a shark bit my hand and i shook it off. the wing started going under water and i could see when i opened my eyes underwater that there were sharks all around us, all sizes, up to like 30 feet long. i told the woman and baby to be really still so they didn't bite us. she then shot me in the head and i died and slowly sunk down into the sharks. i could see the bullet hole in my own head somehow, leaking a wisp of black looking blood up towards the surface as i sunk.

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Date:2010-01-16 13:40
Subject:Weird.
Security:Public

i finally cleaned up all the piles of papers in my office that have been piling up for an entire freaking year. i realized as i was putting everything away that this is year five of owning my own business! and even through the weird economy i'm still somehow successful. that's pretty freaking cool if i must say so myself. if i could only be a tiny bit more successful enough to hire a maid, that would be cooler.

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Date:2010-01-16 01:32
Subject:My Freaking Family Rules.
Security:Public

sister sent me a package with with some smelly stuff, lotions and soaps and things. in the package was a cd that just said for amy on it. i got it on wednesday but i didn't have time to see what it was. i just put it in and it's a terrible recording of beyonce's irreplacable. i love her. man oh man my family is so freaking amazing. sleazebag loses.

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